Just about every newspaper has a section devoted to the weird and wonderful goings on in the World. Quite often they're referred to as "Odd Spots". Of course there's more to the story waiting to be told. It justs needs a little irrational thought to read between the lines and see THE REAL STORY...
Thursday, May 29, 2003 OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME
I met a girl named Money at a party. “That’s an unusual name” I said and we started chatting, it turned out we had a lot in common and really hit it off.
Later at her place we sat on the couch and had a drink. She flicked on the TV, the lottery was just being drawn. I had bought a ticket but didn't have it with me so I jotted down the numbers, they looked good but I'd have to check the ticket to be sure. Maybe meeting a girl named Money was a good sign. I thought to myself.
Well, after a couple more drinks and a few laughs, we started to kiss. Things quickly heated up from there and soon we were tearing each others clothes off and getting down to business. After about 20 amazing minute’s of passionate sex, I realized two incredible things; the condom had broken and I had come into Money. posted by Steve | 2:40 AM
Thursday, May 22, 2003 DISS NEVER HAPPENED
May 22 2003
In the Livewire section of The Age newspaper today was a little story on an article published in the New York Times about the hazards of making comments about your friends or people you work with on your blog.
Luckily I'm not one to go about dissing my friends or colleagues. I mean who would be stupid enough to mention, for example, how good your receptionists tits look. Or that your best friend is in an ABBA trbute band and he's apparently NOT gay (not that there's anything wrong with being gay - However there's plenty of things wrong with being in an ABBA tribute band).
Of course these are completely hyperthetical situations I have used just for the sake of argument. But if comments like these ever got back to the associated people imagine the shit it could create. So you can rest assured that I'd never ever do anything as stupid as to diss anyone I know on my blog.
Peace. We out! posted by Steve | 1:21 PM
LOOK OUT KLINGONS THE AUSSIES ARE COMING
I found this story in the Technology section of http://news.bbc.co.uk published June 17 2002
It is a long way from Star Trek, but teleportation - the disembodiment of an object in one location and its reconstruction in another - has been successfully carried out in a physics lab in Australia.
Scientists at the Australian National University (ANU) made a beam of light disappear in one place and reappear in another a short distance away.
The Australian researchers have exploited a phenomenon called "quantum entanglement", which links the properties of two photons of light created at the same time. Einstein called it a "spooky interaction".
What it means is that two photons can be created and sent to different places. It is possible to force one photon into a specific quantum mechanical state and, because the two photons are connected in some way, the other photon will instantaneously take up a complementary state.
Using quantum entanglement, ANU physicist Ping Koy Lam has disassembled laser light at one end of an optical communications system and recreated a replica just a metre away.
An encoded signal is embedded in an input stream of photons, which is entangled with another beam.
Elsewhere in the lab, the beam of photons and the associated signal is reconstituted.
"What we have demonstrated here is that we can take billions of photons, destroy them simultaneously, and then recreate them in another place," Dr Lam says.
But for a human to be teleported, a machine would have to be built that could pinpoint and analyse the trillions and trillions of atoms that make up the human body.
"I think teleporting of that kind is very, very far away," Dr Lam says. "We don't know how to do that with a single atom yet."
Quantum teleporting is problematic for humans because the original is destroyed in the process of creating the replica.
Right. So basically what the boffins did was turn off a light on one side of the lab and make another light come on in another part of the room. Ingenius, what will they think of next.
Obviously Einstein was having an off day when he came up with the "Spooky Interaction" name. Sounds like a lame computer game. posted by Steve | 12:50 PM
KLINGONS ARE PEOPLE TOO
May 13 2003
A mental health service in the United States is looking for a translator who is fluent in Klingon, the language used in the television and film series Star Trek.
Klingon is just one of about 55 languages needed by Multnomah County, in Oregon, which serves about 60,000 mental health patients.
"We have to provide information in all the languages our clients speak," said Jerry Jelusich, from the county's department of human services.
Although created for works of fiction, Klingon was designed to have a consistent grammar, syntax and vocabulary.
Officials in Multnomah County have found many people - and not just fans - consider it a complete language.
"There are some cases where we've had mental health patients where this was all they would speak," said Franna Hathaway, another county official.
They say this obligates them to respond with a Klingon-English interpreter.
This puts the language of Starship Enterprise officer Worf and other Klingon characters on a par with more common languages such as Russian and Vietnamese.
I agree. It's very important not to piss off a Klingon, their lack of restraint is well known. The only difficulty is finding someone who can speak fluent Klingon who's not a raving nut case. Bit of a catch-22 I think. posted by Steve | 11:44 AM
May 21 2003
US military interrogators are using unorthodox musical techniques - a fearsome mix of Metallica and Barney the Dinosaur - to extract information about weapons of mass destruction and fugitive Baath Party leaders from their detainees.
The Americans have long been aware of the impact of heavy metal music on foreign miscreants. They blared Van Halen (among other artists) at Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega when he took refuge in the Vatican embassy in Panama City, and blasted similarly high-decibel music at Afghan caves where al-Qaeda fighters were thought to be hiding.
Now it is reported that the combination of high-voltage rock and happy children's songs can break the will of the hardest terrorist or rogue element.
"Trust me, it works," a US "operative" told Newsweek magazine.
"In training, they forced me to listen to the Barney, I Love You song for 45 minutes. I never want to go through that again."
US interrogators routinely employ "stress and duress" techniques, including sleep deprivation, which human rights activists describe as a form of torture.
"Prolonged sensory deprivation and prolonged sensory overstimulation can cause intense suffering," said Dinah PoKempner of Human Rights Watch. "You can torture someone with psychological pressure."
Former army intelligence colonel Ralph Peters called heavy metal "the American equivalent of sending bagpipes into battle".
"Anything you can do to disconcert someone is going to help," he said. "But it's a myth that torture is effective. The best way to win someone over is to treat them kindly."
Newsweek quotes a Sergeant Mark Hadsell explaining the qualities of heavy metal that bends the will of US enemies. "These people haven't heard heavy metal before. They can't take it. If you play it for 24 hours, your brain and body functions start to slide, your train of thought slows down and your will is broken.
"That's when we come in and talk to them."
Geez. Metallica is hardly intense punishment. If they want some real nasty HEAVY METAL why don't they try a little Slip Knot that should put the fear into them. Or worse still some of the horrid R&B crap that's currently stinking up the Top 40 charts at the moment. One hour of that aural version of rancid hog shit would have me admitting to manufacturing chemical and nuclear weapons, the NAZI atrocities, faked moon landings, JFK's second gunman and just about any other horror you can think of.
As for the children's songs, that's just plain mean. No one should have to endure that.
Oh! and by the way. I hope the US Miltary paid for that Metallica CD. They're very touchy about unauthorized recording of their stuff. posted by Steve | 11:12 AM