 |
|
| Odd Blogs Just about every newspaper has a section devoted to the weird and wonderful goings on in the World. Quite often they're referred to as "Odd Spots". Of course there's more to the story waiting to be told. It justs needs a little irrational thought to read between the lines and see THE REAL STORY... |
|
|
Thursday, October 24, 2002 A LITTLE LESS CAMEL TOE. A LITTLE MORE ELVIS  Wednesday, October 23, 2002 COP THIS Annanova Thursday 17th October 2002 A Romanian couple allegedly caught having sex in their car in front of a police station have been acquitted due to a lack of evidence. The young lovers, from Livezi, Vilcea county, whose names and exact age were not made public, were discovered by a police patrol but denied the charges. A court revoked the £200 public indecency fine the police gave them over a lack of sustainable evidence. The policeman who discovered the couple says the girl was completely naked and he had to wait for her to get dressed before taking the couple into the police station to be charged. He told the RomNet news agency: What proof do they need? I saw them with my own eyes. "They had just come out from the discotheque, got into their car which was parked in front of the station and began having wild sex. "I could actually see the brake lights turning on and off when they accidentally touched the pedal." The young couple were looking for "the Valley of Happiness" sex theme park (reported in Odd Blogs 9th Oct 2002) and thought that they'd just stop outside the Police Station and wait for a nice officer to help them out. Those randy Romanians. Obviously they're just throwing off the shackles from all those years of polical oppression. Randy Romanians, I salute you. posted by Steve | 11:25 AM BIG THANKS Thank you to Kevin O'Rourke who left a flattering comment today. Kevin is the first person to discover the marvel that is Odd Blogs without me personally informing him of it's existence. In fact Kevin is a complete stranger to me. I can't tell you anything about him except that his surname is O'Rourke, so he might be from Ireland or have Irish ancestry, and he's my newest best friend in the whole world. Please visit again Kev (do you mind if I call you Kev?), there's many a good time to be had at Odd Blogs. Tell your friends. Tell your friend to tell their friends. I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank my two regular visitors, Sally and Mikey, who have supported me in ways that they may never know (and it's best that you don't know). Thanks guys. I love youse. I love youse all. Grovelling will cease... Now. posted by Steve | 11:08 AM GEOLOGICAL GENITALS I photographed these marvels of nature on the island of Ko Samui in Thailand. They're only about 20 metres apart, the locals refer to them as Grand Pa and Grand Ma rocks.   posted by Steve | 10:27 AM SEXIN' IT UP A BIT  posted by Steve | 9:49 AM Sunday, October 20, 2002 HOW PATHETIC AM I? Here's the next step in my Get Odd Blogs OUT THERE (I don't care where THERE is as long as it's OUT) campaign. In a shameless attempt to get more readers to Odd Blogs. I call on my current readers (all two of you) to click on the following link as many times as you like and rate Odd Blogs. I won't say your time will go unrewarded because it probably will... sorry that's just the way I am (vanity has it's price... But there's no-way I'm going to pay anyone to read this crap). Just click on the link. Is my Blog HOT or NOT? Thank you. Come again Pantsdown posted by Steve | 11:34 AM CIRCUMCISING UNDER THE INFLUENCE Samuel Greenbaum, 58, one of five "mohels" in the Detroit area (qualified to conduct the Jewish circumcision ritual), was charged with DUI after being stopped on June 18 on his way to perform his craft on a boy in West Bloomfield Township. He told police he was en route from another circumcision, at which he might have had a couple of glasses of wine, but felt (despite failing a Breathalyzer test) that he was alert enough to wield the scalpel-like instrument. Samuel's was heard to say at the last circumcision. "Oopsh! Oh well that will save the little guy from a lot of trouble when he grows up." posted by Steve | 10:46 AM Thursday, October 17, 2002 STINKY WEE(D) The amazing thing about asparagus is that even if you don't know when you ate it. You always know that you've eaten it. posted by Steve | 3:50 AM Tuesday, October 15, 2002 AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE Apart from the stresses of stupid plot twists in 24, Channel 7 have decided that running the program 2 days a week was a great way to pull in the suckers (like yours truely) and have now changed the programming to once a week. Thereby further dragging out this tragedy. And then to add lemon juice to my privates, they put on Boston Public for two hours and move my other TV addiction, Dark Angel, to 10:30pm. Fuck I hate TV stations, they're like drug dealers. They give you a taste then once you're hooked they go and screw around with the programming. They do this to all the programs I like but continue to air crap like Ally McBeal or continuously show reruns of Seinfeld or Everybody Loves Raymond, which we've all seen a hundred times or more, during "normal" time slots. FUCKERS! posted by Steve | 11:45 AM 24 HOURS OF TORTURE Another Rants From The Pants. It's time to spill my guts (SSSLLLPLAT!!! Ewww! I don't remember eating that!). I've gotten myself hooked on that TV show 24. I've seen every episode. Like most American TV shows (ie. X-Files); it started off good with lots of twists and stuff to keep the audience interested but the last 3 episodes have pissed me off no end. The writers no longer build in twists to the story but seem to prefer to have the characters perform some of the dumbest blunders ever seen on telly to keep the story from becoming predictable. In case you have missed it I'll sumise the last 3 episodes (3pm to 6pm - I think): Firstly, Mrs Bauer and her yummy daughter escape the assassins but the dumb-ass Mrs Bauer, turns off the highway on to a dirt road, and instead of continuing down this dirt road she parks the damn car too close to a bagucking cliff and walks back to the highway to see if the bad guys followed her, leaving yummy daughter Kim in the car (and what if the bad guys did see her take the dirt road, she's screwed. She can't out run a speeding car. Dumb-ass). Lo-and-behold the car slips off and plunges into a ravine and explodes. Dumb-ass then faints cos she thinks she just killed her daughter, wakes up a few minutes later, somehow developing amnaesia, supposedly from the shock (more like her brain said, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever done. How about we just forget that ever happened") and wanders off evetually meeting up with the guy she was shagging on the side. Fortunately yummy Miss Bauer is thrown from the car and survives but then heads to the guy who kidnapped her in the first place with the pathetic idea that he can help find her mummy. Instead she gets caught up in the middle of drug deal that's about to get ugly cos' the guy whos supposed to have the 20G's is dead, only no-one has bothered to tell his brother who is now hoping to score a shitload of E with the dosh he thinks his deceased bro has from kidnapping the Bauer girls. One of which is sitting in the same room as him. Meanwhile Dumb-ass Mrs Bauer has completely forgotten that she's supposed to be hiding and goes home to find a bad guy waiting for her. Aside from the dumb-ass Bauer Bitches there's Jack Bauer who works for CTU, Counter Terrorist Unit (played suprisingly well by Keffer Sutherland, who everyone thought was washed up in rehab somewhere). He is struggling to keep his head above water whilst being surrounded by morons that include a stupid bitch who unknowingly was shagging a guy who wants to assinate her boss who is a black man running for president. They try to catch the assasin by using this dumb slut to slip a tracking device into his wallet only she decides to go one better and stab him in the guts with a letter opener. Then the assasins phone rings and there's a guy on it wanting to meet for a pay off. Jack heads off to meet this guy pretending to be the assasin and they send another guy as back-up who just so happens to hate Jack's guts because he snitched on his partner. When the money guy gets suss on Jack and does a runner, the back-up guy shoots him and blows him off a bridge. Now we have two baddies that could lead Jack to finding the ring leader, only they're dead or dying. If there's a real CTU, I hope they aren't as fucked up as they're portrayed in 24. This is where they left us at the end of last nights episode. We are way behind the USA here in Australia so don't be a smart arse and tell me what happens next if you know. Although I'm pissed off with the writers I'm still curious to see if they can redeem themselves by the final episode. I guess I'm like a crack addict. I'm hooked on something I know is fucked up but I keep coming back for more. posted by Steve | 10:40 AM Friday, October 11, 2002 SOUR PUSS The Age 11th October, 2002 Reproductive physiologist Roger Short, of the University of Melbourne's obstetrics department, said laboratory tests had shown that lemon juice could kill sperm and the AIDS virus. "We can show in the lab that lemon juice is very effective in immobilising human sperm and also very effective in killing HIV," he told ABC television in a program screened last night. The juice should be squeezed on to a piece of sponge or cotton wool and placed in the vagina before sex, Professor Short said. The director of research at the sexual health service FPA Health Australia, Dr Edith Weisberg, said Professor Short's theory was promising but needed more work. I'm a bit worried about this. I mean, you know how much it hurts when you get lemon juice in you're eye... See where I'm coming from? This is a very sensitive area of the human body and lemon juice is quite acidic. This could all lead to some very nasty episodes and really ruin the mood between a couple in the throws of passion. Has this Roger Short (I bet he does) character actually tried this out himself? And what about other fruit juices like mango or strawberry? They sure taste better... if you get my drift. posted by Steve | 6:13 AM Wednesday, October 09, 2002 SEXUAL PLAYGROUND Ananova Wednesday 9th October 2002 A Romanian mayor has managed to double the birth rate in his village after building a sex theme park. Couples are encouraged to have sex at the park which has cabins, facilities for cooking romantic dinners, a music system and even a telephone for calling erotic lines. Corneliu Olar, mayor of Horea village, says his Valley of Happiness project was intended to increase the population of the village and transform it into a town. He says the number of new born children has already doubled in the last six years since he was elected. The mayor told Libertatea newspaper: "We put a lot of work into this place and tried to make it an attraction for all those who want to make love in a special environment. We wanted to offer them an adventure they would never forget." Mr Olar, who is a bachelor, said the site for the Valley of Happiness was chosen because it was a place where lovers had traditionally come to. Villager Dumitru Neag said: "My mother told me I was procreated here and I myself had this experience. "It was special maybe because, I think, this place got a positive energy from all those couples who made love here during the time." Well done Mayor Olar. You are a freakin' genius. And I just love the name, "Valley of Happiness". Sheer brilliance! This is bound to increase the tourist trade to Romania ( neglected for far to long). And soon there will be a Dracula Park that is already haunted by the angry ghost of Count Dracula himself... I'm not kidding, this is true... well the bit about the Dracula Park is. See the next story. posted by Steve | 12:27 PM DRAC'S BACK... AND HE'S PISSED OFF! Ananova Wednesday 26th June 2002 A ghostbuster claims the spirit of Count Dracula is haunting the proposed site of a theme park to be built in his name. Damian Ioan Cusleaga was asked to investigate after terrified tourists reported seeing the vampire's ghost wandering through the streets. He believes Dracula has appeared to try and stop plans to create a Dracula theme park in the area from going ahead. The Dracula Park is to be built in Sighisoara - the hometown of 15th century Prince Vlad the Impaler who inspired Bram Stoker's Dracula novel. See! What did I tell ya? I'd love to see the ghost of Prince Vlad the Impaler visit the Valley of Happiness... Oh boy, would that be great or what! :-) posted by Steve | 12:14 PM Saturday, October 05, 2002 GOAT No. 5 Friday 4th October 2002 Police in Chile have caught a dealer who allegedly sold fake perfume made of goat urine. The 47-year-old is charged with creating a secret laboratory to manufacture fake perfumes. The perfume was sold all over Santiago by street vendors. Police said he employed nine people to fake expensive perfumes such as Chanel No.5 and Paloma Picasso. A chemical analysis of two perfume samples revealed they were made with goat urine and vodka. Newspaper La Cuarta reports that the man faces a prison sentence. Chanel, The popular French perfume maker, are also suing the man for stealing their formula for Chanel No 5. posted by Steve | 3:39 PM PORN FOR PEACE Saturday 5th October 2002 Former Italian porn star La Cicciolina has offered to give herself to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein in exchange for world peace. The Hungarian-born actress, whose real name is Ilona Staller, has also been a member of the Italian parliament. She said she has already made the offer to Hussain before, during the Gulf War. "I would do it holding my nose and closing my eyes - I would do it for peace," she told Catalan daily El Periodicoon. When asked if she would offer the same jesture to George W Bush for world peace, La Cicciolina replied, "What do you think I am some kind of crazy person? I would rather fuck a goat with genital warts the size of mangoes than go anywhere near that dispicable son of a maggot. You people are sick. What kind of question is that? Uughh! I can't believe you would even suggest that. It's sick, really sick. This interview is over... posted by Steve | 2:33 PM Thursday, October 03, 2002 Startling Revelation Nobody reads this blog! I installed Enetation Comments back in August. Since then only 3 people have left comments. One was me (just testing), the second was my brother in-law and the third was a friend. Notes to self: 1. Find out what (or who) I have to do to get OddBlogs listed on Blogger, Google, Yahoo etc. Suprisingly the meta tags aren't working, I thought the words "Britney Spears", "topless carwash" and "nude" would attract attention. Maybe I shouldn't have put in "George Bush" and "naked". 2. All I need is one person to find this site and they'll tell their friends, and they'll tell their freinds, and they'll tell their friends, and... SHUT UP YOU JIBBERING IDIOT!!!. Nobody cares about your stupid little blog or YOU! 3. Tell subconcious to go fuck himself. P.S. The last posting was completely fabricated just so I could use that photo (how pathetic). I have no idea how many Americans are illiterate. Although I'm pretty sure that George Junior is completely stupid. posted by Steve | 11:36 PM Wednesday, October 02, 2002 --- One in Twenty Americans Can't Read --- Recent research in the USA has found that a high percentage of the population experience difficulties reading, writing or are completely illiterate. The study also found that a suprisingly high number of people in influential positions in the private sector and even the government suffer some kind of reading difficulty.  posted by Steve | 3:03 AM |
|
| ||||||||||||||||||
